Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
