Me too!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
