Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
