I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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