Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
