In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
