I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just found a bag of teeth...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
