Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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