Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
