It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
