lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
