He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
your like the ambassador to my penis.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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