If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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