Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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