She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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