Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
