i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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