8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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