Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
