if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
