you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
