Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
