So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
