so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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