we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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