So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
