Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
