Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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