fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
