"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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