I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
