The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
