i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
