piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
