I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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