At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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