Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We had to coat check the pizza.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
