i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
