i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
