and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
