it wasn't lemon gatorade
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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