wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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