Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
