I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just found puke in my bra..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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