I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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