Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
