in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
