two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
