just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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