Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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